JUNE 20, 2024 – As a Military Family Life Counselor, I support individuals, couples, families, and groups with the unique challenges of military life, such as managing stress, work-life balance, grief and loss, and other various transitions. To assist those transitioning out of the military, MFLC counselors can extend their assistance to Veterans and their families for up to 180 days post-transition. At that point, the clients we support are handed off to other designated agencies to handle their care.
We find comfort in knowing that organizations such as the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, the Wounded Warrior Project, and the Transition Assistance Program exist. We trust that these agencies will be able to manage our clients’ problems, both present and future.
However, we forget about those who care for these transitioning service members. It is no secret that many of our veterans have both visible and invisible wounds that require ongoing care and support. It’s important that military caregivers have support, especially through building their own resources and networks.
Support for Military Caregivers
A military caregiver is anyone who provides dedicated support to a Service member to maintain their quality of life. A military caregiver supports sustaining the management of their activities of daily living, such as bathing, showering, dressing, and eating. The withstanding of their hygiene and executive functioning, healthcare management, financial management, and more are vital to the success of many former service members who were once capable of accomplishing ordinary activities independently.
There are a variety of amazing organizations that have developed comprehensive programs to support military caregivers and the service members they are caring for. Here are several that MFLCs recommend:
- Caregiver Action Network
- Moving Forward
- Military One Source
- VA Caregiver Support Program
The Importance of Relationship Management
In my experience as a military family counselor, I’ve found that relationships affect all things in life. My goal is to provide support to caregivers by encouraging them to handle their relationships with the utmost care. One way we do this is by offering evidence-based relationship checkups to individuals and couples worldwide. During these relationship checkups, participants are asked to complete surveys that highlight the strengths and concerns of their current relationship. Counselors then facilitate a discussion based on survey results. At the end of the relationship checkup intervention, the couple is provided a summary with feedback in a report so they can take action.
Our clients often describe their support network in therapy as sisters, brothers, cousins, uncles, parents, grandparents, friends, mentors, spouses. However, these are the same people in their lives that they struggle to sustain healthy relationships with and who often feel impacted by the challenges of the military lifestyle. Many service members whom I have worked with are not shy to mention that they joined the military with pre-existing feelings of isolation, rejection from family and friends, and a decompensated support system.
Now more than ever, prioritizing their present-day relationships significantly impacts their transition later. By focusing on boundary setting, communication, healthy relationship building, conflict management, and emotional regulation and understanding in all present-day relationships, service members and their families will set themselves up for success in the future. The same people who are often identified in counseling as stressors and triggers are also typically the first line of defense in supporting our service members and veterans who are struggling to support themselves at a vulnerable time in their lives.
I plan to find ways to use the relationship checkup and other early intervention tools to direct my client’s attention to prioritizing managing their relationship health.
Learn more about the relationship checkup intervention by contacting Military One Source (800-342-9647) or your local MFLC.
Michelle Yanniello is in her fourth assignment as a Military & Family Life Counselor working with all branches at Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling. She has a master’s degree in social work with a concentration in trauma. She is licensed as an Independent Clinical Social Worker in Washington, DC, Virginia and Hawaii. She is also a Clinically Certified Forensic Counselor and in her previous roles she has worked to support victims, offenders and first responders in inpatient acute psychiatric settings.
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Joint Base Anacostia-Bolling